*another post I wrote months ago and am just posting...
I used to wonder, am I truly bisexual, or is it a phase, the newest thing to post on Facebook lol. But when my husband asked me, and I answered that I was, he said it made a lot of sense, and that it explained a lot of little things that he had felt since he met me 21 years ago (I'm still not sure what those things are). That feedback helped me to realize that what I am, I have always been, but I never had the vocabulary to express it to myself or others (thus the happiness and fulfillment that come with self-identification).
I've been remembering things from 25 years ago... feelings I never shared, self-censoring in front of friends, things like that. So much makes sense.
I am a woman. I am fluid in my sexuality. The potential is infinite. It is the people in my life who keep me anchored... I have all the love I want and need. Potential may remain unfulfilled, but my heart is definitely fulfilled. I am happy, in the aspects of my life that count.
Anna Paquin is my hero, in a way. She came out as bisexual right before she was about to be married to a man. Not only does she have IMO perfect boobs, she is also IMO courageous. I remember watching her video and thinking, "there I am."
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It was 21 years ago that my friend, a gay man, first told me the joke that "Bisexuals... they're just greedy!" I wonder if homosexuals have more in common with heterosexuals than with bisexuals. Even my husband has said that it would be easier for him to understand if I were lesbian, than bi. Of course, if I *were* lesbian, I don't know how our marriage could continue. As it is, there have been a lot of tears and deep heart to heart conversations as we navigate uncharted waters.
There seems to be more support for "wives of men who have come out of the closet" than for husbands. Also there is little out there regarding coming out bi in a marriage. A lot of what I have been reading has been about how one partner comes out after having a same-sex affair, and how it shatters the marriage and the family. That is so not my experience and not what I want. I'm not leaving anybody! I'm not changing anything!
I reassure my husband daily, and he reassures me. It has brought us so much closer, at a time when we needed it. Watching him cope with this reminds me of why I fell in love with him so long ago. There is such a depth of love and emotion in him that is rare to find. It has been beautiful watching it come out once more. It has been beautiful seeing the love in his eyes once more.
His love gives me the strength to be what I am, that and the love and support of others who mean so much to me.
I've been remembering things from 25 years ago... feelings I never shared, self-censoring in front of friends, things like that. So much makes sense.
I am a woman. I am fluid in my sexuality. The potential is infinite. It is the people in my life who keep me anchored... I have all the love I want and need. Potential may remain unfulfilled, but my heart is definitely fulfilled. I am happy, in the aspects of my life that count.
Anna Paquin is my hero, in a way. She came out as bisexual right before she was about to be married to a man. Not only does she have IMO perfect boobs, she is also IMO courageous. I remember watching her video and thinking, "there I am."
----------
It was 21 years ago that my friend, a gay man, first told me the joke that "Bisexuals... they're just greedy!" I wonder if homosexuals have more in common with heterosexuals than with bisexuals. Even my husband has said that it would be easier for him to understand if I were lesbian, than bi. Of course, if I *were* lesbian, I don't know how our marriage could continue. As it is, there have been a lot of tears and deep heart to heart conversations as we navigate uncharted waters.
There seems to be more support for "wives of men who have come out of the closet" than for husbands. Also there is little out there regarding coming out bi in a marriage. A lot of what I have been reading has been about how one partner comes out after having a same-sex affair, and how it shatters the marriage and the family. That is so not my experience and not what I want. I'm not leaving anybody! I'm not changing anything!
I reassure my husband daily, and he reassures me. It has brought us so much closer, at a time when we needed it. Watching him cope with this reminds me of why I fell in love with him so long ago. There is such a depth of love and emotion in him that is rare to find. It has been beautiful watching it come out once more. It has been beautiful seeing the love in his eyes once more.
His love gives me the strength to be what I am, that and the love and support of others who mean so much to me.
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